"In the space between yes and no, there's a lifetime. It's the difference between the path u walk and the path u leave behind; it's the gap between who u thought u could be and who u really are; it's the legroom for the lies u'll tell urself in future in exchange for the small sense of sheer comfort that u are enough."
So I have been thinking.
December hasn't been kind. Admist all that intermittten showers and foul cold weather that has posed great inconvenience for my outdoor activities, we witness yet even further breakdowns and melt-downs in the public SMRT transport system in Singapore's network. Which poses yet even further disincentives (is there such a word) for me to step out of the house really despite the festive season.
Troubled, plagued by financial woes and my general life direction--- always wanting more than I can afford, always wondering if my greed is an inflicted blessing or curse. On one hand, the endless pursuit of materialism inspires me to seek self-improvement at all expenses (charisma, talent, grooming and social skills even when I m not in the mood) and yet on the other, it really makes me lie down at night and ponder over whether it is really all worth it.
Once in a while, I do cherish and revel in solitude-- by travelling alone all over the island in search of less frequented esoteric places. The trips and places are where and when I find time aside for solace and do some of the deep thinking in life.
Inadvertently, I find that exposure to high-end fancy deluxe lavish places more often than not triggers an innate sense of voiding unhappiness within my heart that screams to be filled. " HEY I want to be able to afford one of this someday, 1 of these buildings in the CBD will be mine someday... someday is not today, maybe in a few years time" And within moments I will catch myself, pause and maybe sneer a little out loud.
" Who is rich? He that is content.
And who might that be? Nobody".
Desire is the key to motivation and also the root of all suffering. It is possible, to be both happy and unhappy at the same time. Just join the chase la, philosophise when u get old and retire. At least with money u get to pick your own poisons.
I tell myself.
Why is ignorance and stupidity bliss? Because without the knowledge of the existence of fame luxury and materialism, u have nothing to chase for. Happy and contented with what u have like a frog in a well. And hey, if the frog is happy inside his well, who are we to insist that it should jump out and see the world for what it really is?? In the past, I used to depise friends/acquaintances who would actively choose to submerge themselves in audio-beats headphones and virtual worlds of online gaming (starcraft, world of warcraft, skyrim). "Because it isn't real. Your money inside that world cannot buy u a house, wake up from ur stupid dream and idea!!!"
Is it better to live in a world of fantasy and have a foot on reality, or is it better to ground urself to reality and occassionally (only occassionally dip a fleeting foot into a world of fantasy) I suppose it all boils down to pragmatism and idealism. EGG chicken question.
But I digress too much too far.
The point of this post is to point out in the big picture that adaptation, flexibility and versatility is the key to survival and thriving in this world. If one changes one's looks, talents, personality, background and values, one can be loved by almost anyone. Wear a different mask each time to suit the occassion, as long as u don't forget who u really are at the end of the day after u achieve what u want.
And remember that all men are not born equal. Acknowledge that there is finite, limited resources available-- it is your job to seek and fight and maximise ur own share of lot. As idealistic as the principle cause of communism (equal redistribution regardless of contribution) its just not feasible in the footsteps of progress.
The other side of the coin is this--give up the chase...??? One of the greatest mental freedoms in life-- is truly not caring what anyone thinks of u, and let's face it-- Advertising has always had us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need to impress people we dont even know and may not even like. ZEN yourself into A ZEN LIKE mode, tell yourself u transcend it all and go live in the woods as a monk on minimalism so that u leave more resources for others by depriving urself.
Out of mind,
Out of reach,
Out of sight.
Act like ur above it all that chase.
Act like u might as well have not existed.
Because what's the point?
Meaninglessness.
Or on the other hand like I said earlier, u might as well live it out loud proud and loud selfishly grab the most that u can and will make use of and save the philosophizing later for historians. Their job, not yours.
"And so we shall ask ourselves: Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived ;
or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?"
.
Which brings us back to the title-- start living and doing instead of wasting too much time idealizing.
Too often fellow NTs like myself are trapped within the theory more than its utilisation. "If you are so smart, why am I rich?" What is the use of knowing if u dont apply the knowledge???
The secret means nothing, the trick u use it for is everything.
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